Festivus for the rest of us
Once again, and for the last time, I will be hosting another Khristmas Party. (I don’t even no why I try to notify people anymore) On what day do you ask? -Christmas Day SUNDAY 25th
There is no RSVP. Just be there. Drinking starts at 8AM, gifts open…. 9pm ish.
Get there when ya get there. Or don’t, but the more the merrier.
DA RULES.
RULE #1 IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
1. Human fesses and/or bodily waste from a living animal or a gift that is soiled with human fesses and/or bodily waste from a living animal IS NOT AN EXCEPTABLE GIFT. There is a line here, do not cross it. Everything else is fair game. Examples of gifts are as follows:
Acceptable:
Nanny’s wig, A pair of panties that were found in a parking lot (only if it is unclear whetherthe gift is unsoiled), A nasty filthy meat slicer (may still be in circulation?), Fireworks (always a favorite), Tampons (unused), Teeth (no blood), ect…
Unacceptable:
A used diaper, A pair of panties that were found in a parking lot, because you took them off and put them there, Never mind, just don’t do it! Tim and I made these rules to protect you and me. Trust me you do not want to see the ugly side of Khristmas if this line is crossed… I have seen the inside of Pandora ’s Box and I do not want to relive…
2. ALL guests are PARTICIPANTS; you do not get out of being stuck with gobs of crap just because you want to watch.
3. Participants are asked to bring at least one gift to give but there is no limit to how many "gifts" a participant brings. It’s Khristmas, clean your house out… and please wrap your gifts with something, let it be a "surprise." Remember gifts may go to anyone so do not label them.
4. All gifts will be placed in the center of the room and each participant will draw from the pile during his or her turn or choose to “STEAL” a gift from another participant. If you stole a gift during your turn the person that has had his or her gift stolen gets to pull a new gift. One gift may only be stolen 3 times, so timing is critical.
5. All gifts received and/or opened by participants of the gift exchange must be removed from the premises by the said participant at close of the function.
Gin & Juice will be provided but more is welcome.
ANYONE AND EVERYONE is invited so do not hesitate to call or ask me for directions.
posted by Curt @ 10:37 AM
7 Comments:
You have no idea how much I wish I was in Ohio right now. And for once, it has less to do with its status as "not Utah" and more to do with what sounds like a hork of a party. I hope I remember to check in and see how it went...
Curt - we really want to come to the party but we'll have the dogs with us. Any suggestions?
Yuri is outside so as long as they don't eat the cat you can bring them.
Awesem!!! They've eaten plaster, fiberglass, wood, paper, plastic, electrical cords and this week half my bag of chocolate, but never cat. I think they should be safe.
Why does Yuri have to miss the festivities?
Because he peed on the gift pile once.
Yuri has been sober for 186 days now and doesn’t need the peer pressure. Jay Fasset and Tom Hippley should be to blame for getting him back on that wagon last time. Remember the year he got angry off Jack and peed all over the gifts? He would rather hang out with the smokers that relive another night like that. We will support him.
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